Extracted from The Star 25 September 2011
It takes time and effort to see beyond what meets the eys.
Nerd: an intelligent but single-minded person obsessed with a non social hobby or pursuit. I love books. They're my best friends. In fact, once upon a time, the only boyfriends I had were Harry Potter and Edward Cullen, if you know what I mean.
I have to say that I am perfectly content with how my life is but I'd be lying if I said that the little dreamer deep within me didn't yearn for some TLC (Tender, Loving, Care). I'd be lying if I said I never dreamt of Prince Charming sweeping me off my feet. I'd also be lying if I said I liked being alone.
Growing up as an introvert is not the greatest thing. I rarely ventured outside my conmfort zone and preferred the companionship of books to people. But yes, reading does have disadvantages.
I waited for a long time for that person to complete me. For that fabled soulmate to make me feel on the top of the world. It wasn't until I was older that I learnt there is no such thing.
My first day of secondary school was awkward. Stepping onto unfamilliar territory is not my forte. Too bad the back door of the classroom was locked or I would have sneaked in from behind. No such luck.
So I entered from the front with as much bravura as I could muster, which wasn't much considering how I shuffled along the walls and tried not to be noticed.
I touched down safely at the very end of the classroom and tried to look busy, ignoring the stares my new classmates were giving me. A guy at the same table didn't stare but the look in his eyes showed that he understood how horrible being in my shoes was.
I cannot remember the first words we exchanged but I was glad we did because we became close friends in our remaining two years of school. It turned out he was the smartest guy in the class. And I didn't mind it at all because now, we love reading.
Then we went our separate ways and I thought I'd never find a companion like him again. I went about my days keeping to light conversations with acquaintances, and limited them strictly to topics related to college.
I thought that in lifetime there was only one person who could understand you, only one person who knows you better than yourself. I was prepared to be in my own world.
But the forces that govern life decided to take things into their hands and pulled the rug from under my feet. I fell hard but have no regrets whatsoever for getting a sore bum. I met stranger whom I never knew would be my best friend. She astounded me because we are so alike, despite her being my senior. We became joined at the hips, like sisters.
However, just as fleetingly, she completed her two years at college (with perfect CGPA) and is currently studying at the University of Michigan in America. Thus is the reality of life. I feel there are many people who can complement us. They come and go; there is no denying that what you love the most, you cannot keep.
Friendship is like flying a kite. You have to let it soar high up in the air. If you hold the thread too tightly, it will crash to the ground. Although your kite may seem small and distant from afar, you know it's there in the sky because you're connected to it by the thread. And you're comforted because wherever the kite goes, it will return to you.
To date, my secondary school friend is the only one who dares call me a nerd to my face and every once a while, I try to prove him wrong. My college mate has shown me how much more a person can be beyond the books we study and I hope to follow in her footstep as I prepare to transfer to the United States next year.
I appreciate people who make someone smile, who take time to know someone, who accept someone without judging her. They are no Mother Teresa or Oprah Winfrey, but in their own way, they help make the world a better place by bringing hope to those who are alone.
And to those who are discouraged, and feel uneasy and ever so small, I wish to say this: "You are someone. Just believe and you will be.''
This piece goes out to my two most awesome kindred spirits - you know who you are. Thanks for being worthy friends and teaching me that you are more than what people say you are. I know this sounds totally cliched but I am who I am today because of your friendship and gentle guidance.
Nerd: just another noun that fails to take account the person as a whole.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Yesterday Once More
Extracted from Ths Star Thursday 22 September 2011
Recently, I read an entry in my friend Arisha's Facebook, which said : "When I was a kid, I didn't have a laptop, iPod, Blackberry, PS3 or Tablet. I played outside with friends, bruised my knees, made up stories and played hide-and-seek. I ate what my mum or caretaker made. I would think twice before I said "No" to my parents. If I misbehaved, I got caned. Not just me, my friends too. Life wasn't hard, it was good and I survived. Kids these days are spoilt ..."
Her entry inspired this column. I began thinking about my childhood and how wonderful it was. Mum and dad were very busy making ends meet, and lookind after my two older sisters and brother. So the three youngest ones - my brother, sister and I - were brought up by my grandparents in Cheras, KL. Grandpa was very kind but also very quiet. He was hard of hearing and didn't speak to us much. It was Grandma who became our nanny/mum/best pal. She was great. She taught us to enjoy a simple life with wholesome fun.
We hardly ever watched television, except for the occasional Chinese opera. Even then, it was far more exciting to go and watch a live performance at one of those Chinese assembly halls with Grandma. The three of us would play outdoors a lot. There was sandy patch otuside the house where we would play masak masak (pretend cooking), using leaves and tree branches as kitchen utensils.
There was a small lake near the house where we would catch little fish using empty cans and a sieve, and a playground where we'd spend hours before or after dinner. It was so safe that we were allowed to play by ourselves, without adult supervision.
But weekends were the best. Every weekend, my seventh and ninth aunts would bring their children for a sleepover. On Saturday morning, when Grandma left for the market, the fun would begin. We would get dressed up in sarongs and pretend we were famous Chinese singers, performing on the long dining table which became our stage. Other times, we "sold" kacang putith (peanuts) and junk (from Grandma's cupboards) using paper money we made ourselves; or we played teacher and students ... until we heard Grandma's voice from the outside. The we would clear up everything in an instant and life was back to ''normal".
Sundays were outing days. Grandma, uncle and the aunties would often take us to Lake Garden in Kuala Lumpur, where we would jog, roll on the grass, chase each other and have a picnic. We were creative. We used out imagination to have fun, lots of it! We appreciated nature more.
Kids today prefer to stay home, watch TV, play PS3, get onto Google and gossip on their Facebook pages. I know many parents would love to have our kids enjoy what we had before but there are all sorts of obtacles. We're too busy to take them outdoors because of work. And the living environment today is different and not as safe.
So many of us live in high-rise condominiums with little contact with the world outside. Our kids don't have much space to explore and have fun. We don't let them out for fear of them being kidnapped.
But I know some parts of the world where children can still have good old-fashioned fun. While I was studying in Montreal, one of my lecturers (now a very good friend ) had a country home two hours away from the city. Her family would spend every weekend and school holidays there with the children. Although they were already teenagers, they loved being outdoors. They built a tree house, planted trees and herbs, counted the stars at night, made wishes when tehy saw shooting stars, made fires for a barbeque or just to roast marshmallow, and made toys from old socks. They would pick mushrooms during the rainy autumn season and flowers to decorate the cottage. I felt the privileged to be part of their wonderful life.
As far for my own kids, we hardly let them watch TV; use of the Tablet is restricted to once a week, once they have finished their homework. I try to influence them by making things from recycled items. Max has even acquired the habit of keeping junk, saying he will make something out of it one day when he has an idea.
They are also very lucky, as they have wonderful grandparents in Germany who make them things themselves. This summer, when we went back to Germany, the children were welcomed by a new swing in the backyard made by Opa ( grandfather in German ),right next to the tree house made by Opa and Max tow years ago.
Back here in Malaysia, when I met up with my family for dim sum recently, I brought up this issue about kids being into electronic gadgets. I was surprised to hear my dad say: "It's good! Then they will not learn bad things outside." I guess my parents aren't aware that the Internet is not all safe either.
I feel lucky to have been born in era without digital devices. Otherwise I may not have appreciated nature the way I do.
Yes, I do enjoy the convenience brought by the Internet and mobile phones. They make the world feel smaller, we're more in touch with other side of the world. As always, there are pros and cons.
But while we should appreciate the benefits of digital wizardry, I just wish the younger generation could appreciate the beauty of nature more.
Recently, I read an entry in my friend Arisha's Facebook, which said : "When I was a kid, I didn't have a laptop, iPod, Blackberry, PS3 or Tablet. I played outside with friends, bruised my knees, made up stories and played hide-and-seek. I ate what my mum or caretaker made. I would think twice before I said "No" to my parents. If I misbehaved, I got caned. Not just me, my friends too. Life wasn't hard, it was good and I survived. Kids these days are spoilt ..."
Her entry inspired this column. I began thinking about my childhood and how wonderful it was. Mum and dad were very busy making ends meet, and lookind after my two older sisters and brother. So the three youngest ones - my brother, sister and I - were brought up by my grandparents in Cheras, KL. Grandpa was very kind but also very quiet. He was hard of hearing and didn't speak to us much. It was Grandma who became our nanny/mum/best pal. She was great. She taught us to enjoy a simple life with wholesome fun.
We hardly ever watched television, except for the occasional Chinese opera. Even then, it was far more exciting to go and watch a live performance at one of those Chinese assembly halls with Grandma. The three of us would play outdoors a lot. There was sandy patch otuside the house where we would play masak masak (pretend cooking), using leaves and tree branches as kitchen utensils.
There was a small lake near the house where we would catch little fish using empty cans and a sieve, and a playground where we'd spend hours before or after dinner. It was so safe that we were allowed to play by ourselves, without adult supervision.
But weekends were the best. Every weekend, my seventh and ninth aunts would bring their children for a sleepover. On Saturday morning, when Grandma left for the market, the fun would begin. We would get dressed up in sarongs and pretend we were famous Chinese singers, performing on the long dining table which became our stage. Other times, we "sold" kacang putith (peanuts) and junk (from Grandma's cupboards) using paper money we made ourselves; or we played teacher and students ... until we heard Grandma's voice from the outside. The we would clear up everything in an instant and life was back to ''normal".
Sundays were outing days. Grandma, uncle and the aunties would often take us to Lake Garden in Kuala Lumpur, where we would jog, roll on the grass, chase each other and have a picnic. We were creative. We used out imagination to have fun, lots of it! We appreciated nature more.
Kids today prefer to stay home, watch TV, play PS3, get onto Google and gossip on their Facebook pages. I know many parents would love to have our kids enjoy what we had before but there are all sorts of obtacles. We're too busy to take them outdoors because of work. And the living environment today is different and not as safe.
So many of us live in high-rise condominiums with little contact with the world outside. Our kids don't have much space to explore and have fun. We don't let them out for fear of them being kidnapped.
But I know some parts of the world where children can still have good old-fashioned fun. While I was studying in Montreal, one of my lecturers (now a very good friend ) had a country home two hours away from the city. Her family would spend every weekend and school holidays there with the children. Although they were already teenagers, they loved being outdoors. They built a tree house, planted trees and herbs, counted the stars at night, made wishes when tehy saw shooting stars, made fires for a barbeque or just to roast marshmallow, and made toys from old socks. They would pick mushrooms during the rainy autumn season and flowers to decorate the cottage. I felt the privileged to be part of their wonderful life.
As far for my own kids, we hardly let them watch TV; use of the Tablet is restricted to once a week, once they have finished their homework. I try to influence them by making things from recycled items. Max has even acquired the habit of keeping junk, saying he will make something out of it one day when he has an idea.
They are also very lucky, as they have wonderful grandparents in Germany who make them things themselves. This summer, when we went back to Germany, the children were welcomed by a new swing in the backyard made by Opa ( grandfather in German ),right next to the tree house made by Opa and Max tow years ago.
Back here in Malaysia, when I met up with my family for dim sum recently, I brought up this issue about kids being into electronic gadgets. I was surprised to hear my dad say: "It's good! Then they will not learn bad things outside." I guess my parents aren't aware that the Internet is not all safe either.
I feel lucky to have been born in era without digital devices. Otherwise I may not have appreciated nature the way I do.
Yes, I do enjoy the convenience brought by the Internet and mobile phones. They make the world feel smaller, we're more in touch with other side of the world. As always, there are pros and cons.
But while we should appreciate the benefits of digital wizardry, I just wish the younger generation could appreciate the beauty of nature more.
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